Perhaps in ten years I'll be able to look back and see why it was better to be just one of the gang. Still, it's no fun playing the piccolo in the band. It's no great shakes being the dancer over at the side of the stage, when all the best performers stand in the middle of the stage, microphone in hand. It doesn't make me beloved to have had sex with a few hot guys. It has never pleased me how slowly I read. In fact, when I think about it, nothing in my life signaled out that I'd be the one. I don't know why I thought it.

Soon we are going. Soon we'll ship off. And I won't whisper to anyone, I thought it was going to be me!

-Fron Shelia Heti's How Should a Person Be?, p 239